Veteran-turned-mercenary Thoorop (Vin Diesel) takes the high-risk job of escorting a girl, Aurora, from Russia to America. Thoorop is banned from America for Terrorism acts so this guy he knows gives him a new identity to shoot into his neck before he goes through customs.
I'm gonna go ahead and spoil this one for everybody because this is on par with One Missed Call for being the worst movie of the year. Sure there's action but some of it is so ridiculous to the point of Transporter 2. So Thoorop picks up Aurora at a house out in the middle of nowhere where she has been living with sister Rebecca. Rebecca Has 3 rules before they get in the car
1. Don't speak to Aurora
2. Don't look at Aurora
3. No foul Language
and of course Thoorop's classic reply is that he only has one rule:
"Lady, don't fuck with me."
The oscar award winning dialogue continues throughout the rest of the movie.
They go to meet up with his friend at this Bar/Rave place and there's other people after Aurora as well. Her father wants her back. So the three of them get attacked in this bar and low and behold Aurora and Sister Rebecca just happen to be bad ass at martial arts and they jackie chan it to escape with Thoorop.
They get submarine passes from their friend and they're off to America.
Jump to Aurora, Rebecca and Thoorop's friend on one Snowmobile and Thoorop on the other speeding across the arctic plains. Uh oh here come some weird flying machines with heat seeking missles and machine gun fire.
They miraculously dodge all bullets and then in the most unbelievable scene in the movie, Thoorop takes his snowmobile off an embankment into a backflip as the missle goes underneath him.
Later Thoorop's snowmobile explodes and we think he's dead but he just has a piece of metal stuck in his back. No problem for Aurora who also happens to be a qualified doctor. Thorop's friend then trys to kill him but Thorop beats him to the punch and kills him first.
"What did I tell you? Don't trust anyone"
I'll jump to the end because reading all of this is probably just as pointless as seeing the movie. Aurora spoke 19 different languages when she was 2 years old and we find out her father created her as she is part human but also injected with Artificial Intellegence and a huge asset to which ever country ends up with her. She also finds out she is pregnant with twins even though she's never been with anyone. This has apparently been the experament all along according to her father.
A big shootout winds the film down and some people die and are then brought back to life hours later. Yes!
Then there's some sort of ending with Thorop raising the twins.
And it's over! It's over.
Roll Credits.
2/10
It wasn't as painful to sit through as say Freedomland or the worst movie of all time BUG (0/10) But this one is bad. Avoid at all costs.
Other notable mentions-
The House Bunny- 4/10
Mirrors 8/10
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Bowling Scores 8/26/08
5 months off gave me just enough time to strain my left knee this last week while playing Tennis. Leave it to me to play Tennis 3 out of 5 nights in a row and over do it.
So just an ace bandage wrap it up and get going...
150, 183, 156 489 Series 163 avg.
This is a perfect place to start actually. How many seasons have I bowled my ass off in Week 1 and began with a 200+ average with nowhere to go but down. Many a time that's how many. ?
Actually the third game is kind of a crapshoot because I was rushing to get done because I had a fantasy football draft to get to at 8:45. The league ran late and I missed the first 3 rounds:
Adrian Peterson
Andre Johnson
Braylon Edwards
Meh, not too bad I guess. Back to bowling...
The 7th frame of the third game I lost my slide with my left shoe and started sticking badly. THis led to a bad finish and a couple open frames that could have put me in the 170 range.
Other notes would be beginning game one with two open frames followed by XX, followed by two open frames until finally I threw a spare in the 7th.
I ended last season with a 186 average and I think that's a good goal for this season. We're not talking "King of all non-contact sports 2005 Dean Evans" anymore. Now it's "Learning how to be a parent 2008 Dean Evans" so the bowling dominance of the past may fall off course a bit. Then again maybe not, maybe I'll bust out a 300 this season. Who knows???
So just an ace bandage wrap it up and get going...
150, 183, 156 489 Series 163 avg.
This is a perfect place to start actually. How many seasons have I bowled my ass off in Week 1 and began with a 200+ average with nowhere to go but down. Many a time that's how many. ?
Actually the third game is kind of a crapshoot because I was rushing to get done because I had a fantasy football draft to get to at 8:45. The league ran late and I missed the first 3 rounds:
Adrian Peterson
Andre Johnson
Braylon Edwards
Meh, not too bad I guess. Back to bowling...
The 7th frame of the third game I lost my slide with my left shoe and started sticking badly. THis led to a bad finish and a couple open frames that could have put me in the 170 range.
Other notes would be beginning game one with two open frames followed by XX, followed by two open frames until finally I threw a spare in the 7th.
I ended last season with a 186 average and I think that's a good goal for this season. We're not talking "King of all non-contact sports 2005 Dean Evans" anymore. Now it's "Learning how to be a parent 2008 Dean Evans" so the bowling dominance of the past may fall off course a bit. Then again maybe not, maybe I'll bust out a 300 this season. Who knows???
Monday Night Raw Thoughts
Thoughts on Monday Night Raw
Props to James Blake and Donald Young match going five sets which made it to where I didn't miss any of Raw and it started at 9:30ish.
No Props to anyone that was a part of booking Raw this week. This was the worst episode of Raw I have seen in a long time.
1. How many weeks are we going to see CM Punk go over JBL? It's like we can't have him beat any other superstar clean so we'll just throw him JBL week after week. Or Snitzky.
2. THe finish to the Santino vs. Kofi match was fucking ridiculous. Phoenix trips Kofi and he just happens to land on Santino's knee which is enough for him to get the pin? Terrible.
3. Cody Rhodes and the lisp of all lisps.
4. The Main Event finish. Kane snaps and grabs a chair blasting Dave's knee for the DQ. Then Dave returns the favor.
Throw on top of that having to suffer through commercials for the first time in forever put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night.
Oh wait now I see where they're going with this. They can't put CM Punk over clean at Unforgiven so they pretty much ensure that everyone else isn't at 100% going into the match. Think about it:
Kane and Dave Destroy each other's knee's on Raw this week
Kane apparently murdered Rey Misterio's "Spirit" and we don't know if he's alive or dead but either way he's in the Scramble match at the PPV.
John Cena is now in Neck Surgery because he never backs down from a challenge
And who's left? Oh yeah JBL. Well he lost this week to Punk but he Might be 100 percent. Oh wait there's one more week of Raw before the PPV so look for JBL to have some sort of injury going into Unforgiven as well.
sigh......
Well I ended the night with an ROH Austin Aries vs. Genki Horigushi match just so I didn't drive angry.
Props to James Blake and Donald Young match going five sets which made it to where I didn't miss any of Raw and it started at 9:30ish.
No Props to anyone that was a part of booking Raw this week. This was the worst episode of Raw I have seen in a long time.
1. How many weeks are we going to see CM Punk go over JBL? It's like we can't have him beat any other superstar clean so we'll just throw him JBL week after week. Or Snitzky.
2. THe finish to the Santino vs. Kofi match was fucking ridiculous. Phoenix trips Kofi and he just happens to land on Santino's knee which is enough for him to get the pin? Terrible.
3. Cody Rhodes and the lisp of all lisps.
4. The Main Event finish. Kane snaps and grabs a chair blasting Dave's knee for the DQ. Then Dave returns the favor.
Throw on top of that having to suffer through commercials for the first time in forever put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night.
Oh wait now I see where they're going with this. They can't put CM Punk over clean at Unforgiven so they pretty much ensure that everyone else isn't at 100% going into the match. Think about it:
Kane and Dave Destroy each other's knee's on Raw this week
Kane apparently murdered Rey Misterio's "Spirit" and we don't know if he's alive or dead but either way he's in the Scramble match at the PPV.
John Cena is now in Neck Surgery because he never backs down from a challenge
And who's left? Oh yeah JBL. Well he lost this week to Punk but he Might be 100 percent. Oh wait there's one more week of Raw before the PPV so look for JBL to have some sort of injury going into Unforgiven as well.
sigh......
Well I ended the night with an ROH Austin Aries vs. Genki Horigushi match just so I didn't drive angry.
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