Monday, April 13, 2009

2009 Monday Night Raw Draft Analysis

Rey Mysterio defeats Evan Bourne. This was really good but I wish they could have been given more time and they could have cut down the record 11 matches on the card tonight and given these two more time.Raw Drafts MVP in the second worst move of the night. Seriously is there anything more boring than an MVP match?  He has the mic work and entertainment factor but lets face it, MVP is a boring wrestler in a body suit because he can't stay in shape.
Kane defeats Brian Kendrick in a squash that leads to Raw Drafting The Big Show.  0-2 Raw Roster, I've seen my share of Big Show matches I don't need a helping on a weekly basis.
Natalya/Michelle McCool/Maryse defeat Melina/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly.  Resulting in Women's Champ Melina going to Smackdown.  Now Smackdown has both Women titles.  Yay.

John Cena defeated Jack Swagger.  
Better than I expected aside from a scary botched DDT by Swagger.  this resulted in 2 draft picks coming to Raw.  Matt Hardy and HHH.  Well it was just a matter of time don't you think? Now Raw has Both World Titles.

Great Khali defeats Santino Murella
in a squash leading to Smackdown drafting CM Punk.  FUCK!  What the fuck is this shit?  Ok the MITB Winner now is on a brand with no World Title.  I know he can challenge for any one of the 3 World titles but it would make sense storyline wise to have some sort of tease as to which title he's going to go for.  I guess they want to do the whole shock factor of Cashing it in like they did last year and like when Edge did at the Elimination Chamber a couple years back. Still a huge disappointment.

Kofi Kingston defeats The Miz via
DQ.  Raw Drafts The Miz!  This random draft is seemingly not so random.  So much for the dirt sheet as Miz hits Morrison with lights out (kneelift neckbreaker)

Edge wins the 15 man battle royal
and Smackdown gets Kane, positive, and in the worst move of the night they also get Chris Jericho.  Worthless.

Christian Defeats Shelton Benjamin
and ECW finally gets a draft pick, Vladamir Kozlov.  Well I guess creative didn't have anything left for him on any other brand after the impressive unbeaten streak was put to an end by Michaels and Taker just before mania.  So I see him going to ECW and becoming World Champ sometime in the next year.

Matt Hardy defeats CM Punk by DQ
after Jeff interferes.  Leading to Raw Getting the Divas Champion Maryse.  So they swap women's championships probably because Gail Kim, the most overrated women's wrestler of all time, didn't think the diva's championship was worth a dime.  In my opinion, Gail Kim is one of the worst female wrestlers of all time. I'd rather watch a Bull Nakano match.

Chris Jericho defeats Tommy Dreamer
(holy shit he's still employed?) leading to Smackdown drafting Rey Mysterio.  Not Bad if they are trying to push the IC Title to a new level by making it the Premiere title on Smackdown but I see something going down either during the supplemental draft on Wednesday, or more likely Cena dropping the title to Edge at Backlash.

So let's review and Grade each
Brand:

Raw Draft Picks

MVP, Big Show, Matt Hardy,Triple H, The Miz, Maryse
Grade- C
Hardy, HHH, and Miz are all + but MVP, Show, and Maryse are - as well as Raw losing Rey, Punk, and Jericho

Smackdown Draft Picks
Melina, CM Punk, Kane, Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio.
Grade- B-
While Smackdown currently has no World Title, they did pick up the IC Title and Women's Championship which has more prestige that the joke that is the Divas Title.  Punk, Jericho, and Mysterio are nice pickups (Jericho/Punk matches are usually solid)  and Rey never really found his calling on Raw he was stuck in the horrible feud with Kane.  Rey was always a bigger star on Smackdown anyways.  Smackdown is only effected by the loss of HHH and Matt Hardy.  

ECW Draft Picks

Vladamir Kozlov
Grade- F

One pick?  Seriously?  I'm guessing
they get a bunch more on Wednesday but ECW got shafted tonight.  What are we getting to look forward to on Tuesday nights, that is if you even get the Sci-Fi network.  Kozlov vs. Mark Henry?  I'll pass.

Spot of the night was Benjamin taking the best Unprettier I have ever seen.



Saturday, April 11, 2009

Duffy Yankovic- Tumors

I couldn't wait on Al so without further adieu, the greatest Parody never produced and what I've been working on for the last three hours:


Weird Duffy Yankovic
Tumors

How do Tumors get started?
They're started by the wealthy
people and
they get mad about cell phones they
had, now somebody else is holdin

They tell me that the cancer is very
hard to resist
These wicked cell phones, oohh they
also cause cysts.
Maybe you think its cute, but sucka
Im not impressed
I tell you one time only with my
landline please dont mess

Look at all these tumors surrounding
me everyday
I just need some time some time to
get away from (cell phones)

From all these tumors I cant take it
no more
My best friend said did you hear
about 867-9304?

Did you hear about the hyena?
Some say it drank too much juice
That came straight as a reply bad
reception is just an excuse.

Did you hear that you can recycle?
Some say it must be okay
I tried to argue but they say  he's
way too late, the cancer don't move
that way.
 
Did you hear when I was cruisin?
In my brain I felt a squeeze
I'm in a U-Haul, six feet tall
I was knocked right to my knees..

Look at all these tumors surrounding
me everyday
I just need some time some time to
get away from (Cell Phones)

From all these tumors I cant take it

no more
My best friend said there's a new
one out now and I just about hit the
floor.

I cant go no place without someone
with a portable ringer
I cant show my face cuz when it
comes to tumors I'm on Jerry
Springer.

It seems from tumors I just can't
get away
I bet there'll even be tumors
floatin' around the milky way.

I'll think I'll write my congressman
and tell him to pass a bill
For the next time they catch
somebody making cells it's time to
kill.

Will you look at all these tumors
surroundin' me every day
I just need some time, some time to
get away from (cell phones)
From all these tumors, I can't take
it no more
My best friend said there's one out
now, a blackberry with texting and
more.

What's mine is mine, I ain't got
time for tumors in my life
I'm a man with a brain not a man
who's insane so please let me live
my life.

What's mine is mine, I ain't got
time for tumors in my life
I'm a man with a brain not a man
who's insane so please let me live
my life.

What's mine is mine, I ain't got
time for tumors in my life
I'm a man with a brain not a man
who's insane so please let me live
my life.

Will you look at all these tumors
surroundin' me every day
I just need some time, some time to
get away from
From all these tumors, I can't take
it no more
My best friend said there's one out
now, a blackberry with texting and
more.

Look at all these Tumors surroundin'
me every day
I just need some time, some time to
get away from
From all these tumors, I can't take
it no more
My best friend said there's a new
one out now and I just about hit the
floor.

Stop spreadin' those tumors around
Stop spreadin' the ultimate demise
Stop spreadin' those tumors around
Stop (Stop) spreadin' the ultimate
demise

Stop spreadin' those tumors around
Stop spreadin' the ultimate demise
Stop spreadin' those tumors around
Stop spreadin' the ultimate demise

Stop spreadin' those tumors around
Stop spreadin' the ultimate demise


Now someone please contact Mr. Yankovic, have him do the song (and the video) and give me some credit (or at least a cameo in the video)

Here's the original:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRte0S2a_dA

Friday, April 10, 2009

Invaders Must Die

I rarely buy CD's anymore there's only a handful of bands that I am a fan of that I buy the album when it comes out.  After surfing through the videos on Comcast In Demand I came across Invaders Must Die by Prodigy.  I had no idea they had recently released their 5th full album.  The song is solid so I drive out to Best Buy to purchase the album. It's probably the first CD I've bought in the last year.  While the employees at BestBuy had heard of Prodigy, it seemed that noone in the store had any idea what section it would be in.  Dance?  Industrial?  Rock?  Then some employee hands me a CD "Here it is."  Apparently there's a hip-hop artist called Prodigy as well.

So when it's all said and done, even though in their system it said they had copies available, noone could find one.  So I leave somewhat disappointed and go to Target and find it in five seconds.

I've been listening to Prodigy's Invaders must Die pretty much non stop for the last week or so and I have to say it's their best album since The Fat of The Land.

While other bands and artists tend to change it up as they progress, Prodigy sticks to their roots and the album delivers.  There are so many bands out there that I was into in high school that progress to something so ridiculously different (I.E. Silverchair, seriously go look up their video for Tomorrow from the mid 1990's and compare it to their most recent release) Sugar Ray's first album Lemonade and Brownies was really a metal album and we all know what they turned into.  I'm just thankful for those few bands that stick to the sound that made them turn out the hits back in the day and continue to do so.

If you enjoyed Fat of The Land back in the day then this album is for you.  Strongly Recomended.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Wrestlemania XXV Thoughts and Predicitons

  Here is the WWE WrestleMania XXV card:

* Chris Jericho vs. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Rowdy Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair For Chris Jericho to win, he has to defeat all three of the legends. For the legends to win, they have to defeat Chris Jericho just one time.

What a worthless payoff to the buildup of legends vs Jericho.  I would have rather seen Jericho/Austin or Jericho/Hogan or even Jericho/Tully Blanchard

Prediction: Jericho eliminates Snuka, then Piper, but then Flair/Steamboat talk strategy and they snooker themselves a win with the throwback crossbody press off the top rope! Winner- Ricky Steamboat!

* The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Do you even have to ask?  I guarentee a win for the Undertaker bringing the mark to 17-0.  I would have rather seen Undertaker/Kozlov because at least then there was a small sliver of a doubt who would win.

* Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

It's hard to say this match wouldn't feature the bump of the night but with MITB also on the card they may tone this one down just a bit.  I know it's extreme rules but don't look for anything along the lines of a spear through a burning table.

Prediction- I was going to take Jeff Hardy until I saw his entrance on Smackdown when he was lipsynching the words to his entrance music.  Anyone that does that deserves to lose every match from now on.

Winner - Matt Hardy

* 25-Diva "Miss WrestleMania" Battle Royal: Known Participants - Melina, Maryse, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Eve Torres, Katie Lea Burchill, Beth Phoenix, Layla El, Rosa Mendes, Candice Michelle, Natalya Neidhart, Jillian Hall, Tiffany, Sunny, Torrie Wilson, Molly Holly, Victoria and Jackie Gayda-Haas

It makes absolutley no sense to have anyone win Miss Wrestlemania that isn't currently under WWE contract so that rules out a good 35% of divas.

Prediction- Santino Murella in a Russo style finish.

* Money in the Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Finlay

The favorites in this one according to the IWC are Christian and Benjamin.

Prediction- Kofi Kingston gets the spot of the night in this match and Shelton Benjamin comes out on top the winner with Christian getting the snub.

* Winner Takes All – WWE Tag Team Titles vs. World Tag Team Titles – Unified Tag Team Title LUMBERJACK Match: The Miz and John Morrison © vs. Carlito and Primo Colon ©

Absolutley no reason to make this a lumberjack match.  This one has potential to be the match of the night pending the HBK/Taker match.

Prediction-  Miz and Morrison

* IC Title Match: JBL © vs. Rey Mysterio

Booking formula says Rey Rey won a non title match over JBL on Raw last Monday meaning JBL retains at Mania. Then he historically retires from the WWE as Champion.  Something that's never been done before!  Setting up the King of the Ring tournament on Raw to also crown the new IC Champ.

* World Title Match: Edge © vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena

I could care less about the Vickie Guerrero stuff and WWE probably came to some stupid conclusion that the reason 12 rounds isn't doing that good is because Cena isn't the champion.

Prediction- Box Office Failure John Cena

* WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. Randy Orton

I have a really bad feeling that if this match headlines Mania, there is zero chance of Orton walking out champion.  However if the triple threat match headlines mania I believe Orton has a very strong chance of walking out champion.

Prediction-  New WWE Champ Randy Orton and thus cementing and surpassing Jericho as the top heel in WWE.

Those are my thoughts.  Feel free to express yours.

Late Movie Reviews

Race to Witch Mountain 5/10

Dwayne Johnson's performance is good, but I couldn't get into this one.  Still a good family film however not as good as The Game Plan.

Knowing 10/10!

I was blown away by the effects during the airplane and subway disasters.  The plot was great and the ending was good.  I could not find anything bad or negative to say about this one. Best movie I have seen probably since Strangers.

The Haunting in Connecticut 7/10

Good horror film, some of it a bit far fetched in regards to the seances and the vomiting of ectoplasm which reminded me of Egon and Ghostbusters.  Still a few scenes made me jump a bit. Nothing truely terrifying though.

Fast and Furious 7/10

I'm not one to hang out at AM PM with blacklights under my hood and talk cars but this was an entertaining movie with much racing and car chases.  I don't think I've seen any others in the series besides the first one.  While highly unrealistic at times, entertaining.